Bumper Sticker Zen

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Bumper Sticker Zen

Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:44 pm

The Zen thread has a new spin-off! This one is for all of the interesting sayings that you can find on the bumper of a car!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:44 pm

If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

If you want world peace, fight for justice.

My job is secure. No one else wants it.

You've obviously mistaken me for someone who cares

This is my other car!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:45 pm

And on the eighth day, God went fishing

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:45 pm

Stop the violins. Visualize whirled peas.

Gun Control isn't about guns. It's about control.

There's too much youth; how about a fountain of smart.

My computer doesn't understand me!!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:45 pm

Horn broken. Watch for finger.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings

Grandchildren are spoiled because you can't spank the Grandma!

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway

Support Capitol Punishment, Flog a Politician Today
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:46 pm

I'd rather be hunting

Sometimes I wish life had subtitles

Save the humans

The gene pool could use a little chlorine!

Hang up and drive!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:46 pm

Proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy

I'd rather be fishing

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative

I souport publik edukashun

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:46 pm

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity

I'd rather be driving a golf ball

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong!

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:47 pm

Tired of being around? Call Dr. Jack

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

My other car bumper sticker is funny

If all else fails .. lower your standards

Bosses are like diapers. Full of s#!t and all over your a$$!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:47 pm

The religious right is neither

It's hard to stumble when you're on your knees.

Nuke the gay unborn baby whales for peace

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:47 pm

Don't laugh .. It's paid for!

Time flies when you don't know what you're doing

He who dies with the most toys, wins!

My other car is a Porsche

Cat: The other white meat
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:48 pm

I'm in no hurry, I'm on my way to work

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it

The #1 cause of divorce is ... Marriage
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:48 pm

Don't take life too seriously. You won't get out alive.

We are spending our kids inheritance.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Some days you're the Dog, & Some days you're the Hydrant
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:48 pm

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

Don't let school interfere with your education

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

My karma ran over your dogma

I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:49 pm

S#!t happens!

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?

Men have feelings too, but who really cares?

And on the eighth day, God went skiing
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:49 pm

I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

Athletes love to score

Not all women are fools. Some are single.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:49 pm

Yes, I've heard of "decaf." What's your point?

Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children

Procrastinate Later

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:50 pm

I love cats, they taste just like chicken

Men are idiots and I married their king

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

The best way to get on your feet is to get off your a$$!

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:50 pm

Caution! Driver just doesn't give a s#!t anymore!

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

Have a crappy day

God grant me patience. And I want it NOW!

Impeach Clinton. And her husband.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:51 pm

I'll do it tomorrow, I've made enuf mistakes today

Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and drop your beer.

Remember when sex was safe and motorcycles were not!

Caution! I brake for tailgaters

Life's too short to date ugly women
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:51 pm

Liberals want misery spread equally

I'm looking for true love. But I'll settle for cheap sex.

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Love is free. It's diapers that are expensive

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:52 pm

Life would be so much easier if we just had the source code

Annoy a liberal. Work hard and smile

Proud to be an American

Lottery! A tax on people who are bad at math

Mean people suck
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:52 pm

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die

If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people!

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them

I am an escapee of a political correction facility.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:52 pm

Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot!

I still miss my Ex ... but my aim is improving

Women who want to be equal to men lack ambition

Computers cut my work in half and the boss expects me to put it all back together!

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:53 pm

Give me coffee and no one will get hurt

Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee

Ignore your rights and they'll go away

C code. C code run. Run, code, run! (please?)

If you're rich, I'm single!
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