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A PBEM sim taking place on a Prometheus Class vessel. The cutting edge in Federation technology with a good sized crew and a great deal of excitement.

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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 2:41 am

Top Ten Bumperstickers for the U.S.S Enterprise

10. "Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!"
9. "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it"
8. "HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!"
7. "Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"
6. "Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!"
5. "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at Tactical."
4. "If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?"
3. "Have you hugged a Ferengi today?"
2. "We brake for cubes!"
1. "Wesley On Board!"
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 10:48 am

Check out this link if you want to see some of the wisdom of Mr. Spock:

http://www.cs.ubc.ca/cgi-bin/nph-spock

Reload the page, and you'll get even more quotes of wisdom!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 10:51 am

Why did the chicken cross the road?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.
Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.
Worf: I don't know. KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.
HoloDoc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!
Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.
Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)
Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.
Odo: I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quark's fault.
Quark: Who, me?
Charlie X: Because it didn't want to STAY...STAY...STAY...
Kirk: You chicken bastard, you killed my son...YOU chicken BASTARD, you killed...my SON...you CHICKEN bastard....youkilledmy...son!
Troi: I feel the chicken's pain!
Kira: It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.
Bones: Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!
Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.
Dr. Bashir: It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers.
The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.
Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug!
B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the bleeping regulations of bleeping Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!
Picard: There are four lights!
Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.
Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?
Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?
Chekov: It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time..did I scream this time?
Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken...
Harry: I don't know, it's my first mission.
Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.
Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, there's been a terrible misunderstanding.
Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.
Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock!
Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!
Spock: Fascinating, Captain.
V'Ger: To join with the Creator.
The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don't cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!
Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone's satisfaction.
Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!
O'Brien: No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it.
Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and...
Sisko: It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what we've learned from all this?
Jake: Check out the babe that just came off that transport!
Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do.
Sulu: Don't call me Tiny!
Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.
Mr. Homn:
Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue, and then there's...
Tuvok: That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.
Gene Roddenberry: To boldly go where no chicken had gone before.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 10:59 am

Top Ten Last Words of Red Shirts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10. *Ugh!*

9. Captain, I think I have a solution to all our problems.

8. Where's that sound coming from?

7. I love you --enter any name--

6. My tricorder is reading life forms, sir.

5. There appears to be a transporter malfunction.

4. What's that blob?

3. Gee, what a pretty flower pod.

2. Hmm... I seem to have lost the rest of the landing party.

1. I think we've found a paradise planet, Captain.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 11:05 am

Top Ten Phrases You Never Heard On The Enterprise

10. Space... It's really, really big.

9. Sir, it's the Imperial Death Star!

8. You shall be punished for the crimes of humanity. Especially the 1970's.

7. Dang! Nothing worse than a Klingon f#@t!

6. Data. Data, you're drooling.

5. This is Captain Kangaroo of the starship Makebelieve.

4. Captain, it appears to be a planet. A planet of... apes.

3. We bartenders have an understanding of people. I call mine Guinanchology.

2. Wassup G? -- That's Q!

1. Sheesh! It's those geeks from Babylon 5 again!
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How to make a Star Trek TV show....

Postby Jake Sjet » Wed Aug 06, 2003 3:30 pm

On StarTrek the orignal serise, the Final Frontier was three inches bellow Uhra's waist.

Cue invisible orchestra...
Cue CGI/paintshop ship model doing something...
Cue smart famous person tricked, at gun point, to read this script....
Space, the final pitt stop.
These are the voyages of the starship Zealous.
Her never ending mission, to coin phrase heard so many times we punch the person sayying them.
To find ways to conn people out of their hard earned money
To boldly break the law like no one as ever broken it before!


What really happened opn the Defiant during the Battle for Sector 001...
"Weapons!"
Sorry, the USS Defiant has preformed an lillegal error, consalt user manual or call our hot line (We'll blam Microsoft 2340)
"Agh! Perhaps today is a good day to die! Ramming speed!"
"Sir another ship! Its the Enterprise.."
"DAMN! I,er, I mean oh. Perhaps to day isn't a good day to die!"
Last edited by Jake Sjet on Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Ensign Keth Soban, Medic on the USS Legacy

Fellow Crew Injured By Keth: X


Image

"I will eat your soul :3"
User avatar
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:11 pm

LOL! I like that one!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:13 pm

The Top Ten Things You're Not About To Hear on The Enterprise

10. "No, please, Data, go on. I find your list of synonyms for 'extinct' facinating..."

9. "Good work, Counsellor. If you hadn't told us those aliens had hostile intent, we would have been completely fooled by their plan."

8. "Jean-Luc, since the ship is in no danger at all and we're not about to die, I want to tell you..."

7. "The...doohickey...has gone all...funny, making that gizmo light up...the one that means the warp engines are...ya know...all messed up."

6. "Captain's Log, Stardate...damn. What's the date? Number One, what's today? No, I know it's Tuesday, what's the date? The STARdate!"

5. "Tea, Lemon Zinger, iced."

4. "Klingons do NOT wear frilly underwear...at least not on duty."

3. "Prime Directive? We don't need no steenkin' Prime Directive!"

2. "The aliens are locking their weapons on us...firing...a miss. Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can laugh in their faces?"

1. "Ah, hell, I'm bored. Screw the hailing frequencies, fire at will."
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:15 pm

There's a hole in the warp field
Music: "There's a Hole in the Bucket"
Singers: Geordi LaForge and Leah Brahms

There's a hole in the warp field, dear Leah, dear Leah,
There's a hole in the warp field, dear Leah, a hole.

Patch the hole then, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, dear Geordi,
Patch the hole then, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, patch the hole.

With what shall I patch it, dear Leah, dear Leah,
With what shall I patch it, dear Leah, with what?

Use a phase shift, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, dear Geordi,
Use a phase shift, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, a phase shift.

And how shall I shift it, dear Leah, dear Leah,
And how shall I shift it, dear Leah, just how?

Reverse the polarity, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, dear Geordi,
Reverse the polarity, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, the polarity.

How shall I reverse it, dear Leah, dear Leah,
How shall I reverse it, dear Leah, just how?

Reconfigure the crystals, dear Geordi, dear Geordi,
Reconfigure the crystals, dear Geordi, the crystals.

With what shall I reconfigure them, dear Leah, dear Leah,
With what shall I reconfigure them, dear Leah, with what?

With a proton beam, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, dear Geordi,
With a proton beam, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, a proton beam.

And how shall I make it, dear Leah, dear Leah,
And how shall I make it, dear Leah, this beam?

Extend the warp field, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, dear Geordi,
Extend the warp field, dear Geordi, dear Geordi, extend the field.

There's a hole in the warp field, dear Leah, dear Leah...
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:16 pm

Top 10 worst Starfleet names and registries

10. U.S.S. Answer NCC 42

9. U.S.S. Pickup NCC 52

8. U.S.S. Satan NCC 666

7. U.S.S. Friday NCC 13-8

6. U.S.S. Oldsmobile NCC 442

5. U.S.S. James Bond NCC 007

4. U.S.S. Rescue NCC 911

3. U.S.S. Ivory NCC 99 44/100

2. U.S.S. George Orwell NCC 1984

1. U.S.S. Beverly Hills NCC 90210
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:22 pm

Things You'll NEVER Hear on an Episode of Star Trek...

Sisko: "Does anyone else think my nose is too big?"
Kira: "You know, for some reason I feel like being nice to everyone today...Happiness and joy, happiness and joy..."
Odo: "Hey, you wanna turn down the heat in here? I'm startin' to melt!"
O'Brien: "Gee, I love my job."
Quark: "Want a free drink?"
Bashir: "Oh God, I've made a mistake... my life is ruined..."
Dax: "Julian, I've been around for 300 years and I have yet to encounter somebody as great as you." (I'm convinced she'll *never* drop him a compliment)
Nog & Jake: "Gee, I wonder if we should be in school or something instead of skulking around and causing trouble?"
Worf: "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty and bright. And I pity - any girl who isn't me tonight!"
Picard: "Once you have found her, never let her go. Once you hace found her, nev, er, let, her, go!!!!"
Data: "And a Knight with his banners all bravely unfurled, now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!! I am I, Don Quoixote, the Lord of La Mancha, my Destiny calls and I go. And the wild winds of fortune will carry me onward - whither so ever they blow."
Geodi: "I'm Sancho, yes I'm Sancho, I'll follow my master till the end. I tell all the world, proudly, I'm his squire, I'm his friend."
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:25 pm

Now, straight from the Klingon home world...

What do Klingon's call mud wrestling?
Foreplay.

What's the three, all-time favorite romantic Earth songs in the
Klingon Empire?

1. You Always Hurt the One You Love.
2. Hurts So Good.
3. Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

What does a Klingon call a phaser?
Strategy.

What does a Klingon call a starship?
Diplomacy.

What do they do with the burnt-out bulb?
Execute it for failure.

How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Klingons aren't afraid of the dark.

What do they do to the Klingon who changes the bulb?
Execute him for cowardice.

Why did the Klingon cross the Neutral Zone?
It's none of your damn business!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:27 pm

Top 10 Reasons the Borg have NOT returned to fight the Federation again:

10. New assimilation software turned out to be vaporware; back to square one when the supplier's 1-800 number was disconnected.

9. Assimilation of Locutus caused chaos as the Borg became caught up in a massive Sam Spade adventure game craze.

8. If Earth were assimilated, the commute from Borg home planet would be a killer drive.

7. Collective Borg decided a cube was to complicated a form - awaiting building of a new pyramid ship.

6. Earth was too blue for their tastes; they were hoping for an emerald green planet, something in a teal, with tasteful lavender clouds.

5. Bidding war for exclusive appearance in Coke or Pepsi commercials too agonizing a choice... returned home to rebuild decision circuits.

4. Earth too close to the sun... would ruin their cultivated pallor.

3. They heard that Worf bragged of personally kicking their butts if they showed their face in the sector again...began laughing for first time, haven't stopped yet.

2. $29 navigation chip failed..they now have NO idea where Earth is..wandering out by the Cardassians, asking directions.

And the number one reason the Borg haven't returned to Earth....

1. WESLEY CRUSHER.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:29 pm

#1 on the BORG Hit Parade: We all sleep in a single subroutine.

All a Borg!
Assimilate me tender - Elvis of Borg.
Blonde Borgs have the same fun.
Borg Mail Reader v2.1a. Tagline theft is futile.
Borg Mail Reader v2.1a. Taglines are irrelevant.
Borg Moderator - Your topic is irrelevant.
Borg Starter Kit: some assimilation required.
Borg saying: We came. We absorbed. We left.
Borg spreadsheet program: Locutus 1-2-3.
Borg virus detected. (A)ssimilate? (Y/y)
Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, gin is irrelevant.
Borg-Cola: Not the choice of The Next Generation.
Borg-again Christian. Resistance to my sermon is futile.
BorgBurgers. We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.
BorgDOS: Irrelevant command or filename.
Borgasm: The ecstacy of being assimilated.
Clinton Borg - The economy is irrelevant.
Ernest BORGnine... you be the judge.
GOTO, GOING TO, GONE TO - Borg subroutines.
Gates of Borg: OEMs will be assimilated.
Geraldo of Borg: Next brothers who assimilate sisters.
Groucho Borg: That's the silliest thing I ever assimilated.
HersheyBORG: Wrappers are futile. Chocolate will be assimilated.
Hillary of Borg: Choice is irrelevant.
I am Al of Borg. Aww, Peg, I assimilated you last year.
I am Bart of Borg - who the hell are you?
I am Bugs Bunny of Borg. What's up, Collective?
I am Caffeine of Borg. Sleep is irrelevant.
I am Clinton of Borg. Hillary says resistance is futile!
I am CopyCat of Borg. Your tagline will be assimilated.
I am Dangerfield of Borg. Respect is irrelevant.
I am Descartes of Borg: I assimilate therefore I am.
I am Drunk of Borg. Resistance is floor tile.
I am Flatulus of Borg. Prepare to pull my finger.
I am Fudd of Borg! Pwepawe to be assimiwated!
I am Fudd of Borg. Wesistance is usewess!
I am Garfield of Borg - Hairballs are irrelevant.
I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated - but WAIT! There's MORE!
I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be... ooooohh, doughnuts!
I am Jordan of Borg. Gravity is irrelevant.
I am Madonna of Borg. Gender is irrelevant.
I am Madonna of Borg: Justify my assimilation!
I am OS/2 of Borg. DOS will be assimilated.
I am Popeye of Borg. Prepare to be askimilgrated.
I am Shakespeare of Borg. Prepare to be, or not to be, assimilated.
I am Tweety of Borg. I _tawt_ I attimiwated a puddy tat!
I am Yoda of Borg: Irrelevant the Force is.
I am Zsa Zsa of Borg. Prepare to be assimilated dahling.
McBorgers: Over 50 million assimilated.
My other computer is a Borg.
P-Porky P-Pig of Borg: You will be assim-assim... absorbed.
Pythagoras of Borg - Distance is irrelevant.
Q: How many Borg does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: All of them.
Quayle of Borg - Inhaling is irrelevant.
Tennis is irrelevant - Bjorn Borg.
The Borg are coming! Quick, try and look useless.
The Borg assimilated my race and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt!
The Borg: Calm, Cool and Collective.
The Swedish Chef has been assimilated. Borg borg borg!
U2 will become one with the Borg. We like Bono.
Uhura of Borg: Assimilation frequencies open, sir.
We are Borg. [ESC] is futile [CTRL] is inevitable.
We are Daleks of Borg. ASSIMILATE! ASSI-MIL-ATE!!!!!!!
We have engaged the Borg. The wedding will be Friday.
Welcome to Borg Burger. No pickles. Pickles are irrelevnt
Yoooouuuuu'rreee Irrelevant! - Daffy Duck of Borg.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:30 pm

THE BORG ANSWERING MACHINE

WE ARE BORG.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
But we're not home right now.
So leave a message at the tone,
and we'll assimilate you later.
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:34 pm

More Borg Assimilations We Don't Want to See

We are Intel. AMD is irrelevant. You WILL install US!!!
We are Babylon 5. We are irrelevant. We assimilate Star Trek.
I am Pentium of Borg. Arithmetic is irrelevant. Division is futile. You WILL be approximated.
We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. But we're not home right now, so leave a message after the tone and we'll assimilate you later... (beep)
I am Fudd of Bowg. Wesistance is wusewess. Pwepawe to be Assimiwated.
I am Rhett Butler of Borg. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn whether or not you are assimilated.
We are Visual Basic of Borg. If you "assimilated" then you = "assimilated" end if
My name is Borg - James Borg - license to assimilate.
I am C-3PO of Borg. I am capable of over six million different forms of assimilation.
I am McCoy of Borg. He's assimilated, Jim!
I am Bashir of Borg. Prepare to be... did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?
I am Troi of Borg. I sense that you will resist assimilation. But I suggest you not resist. It is futile.
I am Beldar of Borg. Time to assimilate mass quantities.
I am Arnold Schwartzenegger of Borg. You will be assi... uh, assim..., oh, you will be terminated!
I am Worf of Borg. No need to assimilate, I'll just crush you.
I am Julius Caesar of Borg. Veni, vidi, assimilavi.
I am Spot of Borg. You will be iguanas. Resistance is futile.
We are the Borg. Resistance = voltage / current.
I am John Lennon of Borg. Imagine all the people... assimilated.
I am Porky Pig of Borg. Prepare to be as... assa... assim... I'm taking over.
I am Duncan McBorg of the Clan McBorg. There can be only one (collective). Prepare to be decapitated.
I am Dan Quayle of Borg, You're speeling is irrellevant.
Ferengi-Borg: Insert Coin for assimilation...
I am George Bush of Borg. READ MY LIPS - NO NEW ASSIMILATIONS!
I am Rambo of Borg. Resistance is the desease. We are the cure.
I am Kosh of Borg. You have always been assimilated.
I am Microsoft of Borg. Resistance izkx GPF 0x5654 8820 Application RESIST.EXE has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
I am Shakespeare 'o Borg. Thou art assimilated, my good man. Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.
I am Robocop of Borg. I wonder if I am already assimilated.
The Borg assimilated my race, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.
I am Garfield of Borg. John is irrelevant, Odie is STUPID!
I am Spock of Borg. The needs of the ONE outweigh the needs of the many.
I am Butt-Head of Borg. You will be...uhhhhh... It says ASS! This is cool.
I am William Shatner of Borg... and this is... Assimilation 911!
I am Alanis of Borg. Isn't it robotic? Don't you think?
I am Piller of Borg. Consistency is futile. Continuity is irrelevant.
I am Dr. Smith of Borg. Resistance is futile, you bubble-headed booby!
I am Sinatra of Borg. Start spreading the news. We're assimilating today. You will be a part of it: the Borg, the Borg.
I am Pythagoras of Borg. Distance is irrelevant.
I am Yoda of Borg. Assimilate or do not assimilate. There is no 'try!'
I am Quark of Borg. You will be assimilated. But with the right amount of gold pressed latinum, I can overlook your resistance.
I am Cobain of Borg. Here we are now, assimilated us.
I am Deter of Borg. Now is the time on Sprockets when we assimilate.
I am Slartibartfast of Borg, but my name is irrelevant.
I am JFK of Borg. Ask not what the collective can do for you, but what you can do for the collective.
I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated, but WAIT! There's MORE!
I am Barclay of Borg. I live for a simulation!
I am Madonna of Borg: Justify my assimilation! ::pant::pant::
I am Det. Francisco of Borg. Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assassinated. Matt - "Uh... that's 'assimilate', George."
I am Shatner of Borg. *You*...Will...Be...Assimilated!
I am Captain Jellico of Borg. You will be assimilated. But first, get that fish out of my ready room.
I am Elmer Fudd of Borg. Be vewy, vewy quiet... I'm assimiwating wabbits. Heh heh heh heh heh.
I am Troi of Borg. Your chocolate will be assimilated.
I am Taz of Borg: RGGL FXZZ PTTHT!!!
I am Superman of Borg. You will be assim -- Wait a minute, I'm dead.
I am Heisenborg. You will probably be assimilated.
I am Dirty Harry of Borg. Go ahead, resist us. Make my day.
I am Telecom of Borg. Connection is irrelevant. Modem will be assim +++ NO CARRIER
I am Homer of Borg. Resistance is futile. You will be assimmm...mmmmmm Donuts.
I am Trebek of Borg. For $200, it's futile and starts with R.
I am O'Brien of Borg. You will be assimilated as soon as I finish fixing this bloody assimilation machine...
Borgio's: The cereal you can't resist.
I am Scully of Borg. I am sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for your resistance...
I am Bill Gates of Borg. You HAVE been assimilated. You just don't know it yet.
I am Monty Python of Borg. I wish to complain about this 'ere assimilation you sold me not half an hour ago...
We are Hugh of Borg. We wish to assimilate Troi. Geordi is our friend. He can watch.
I am Marvin the Android of Borg. Assimilation, don't talk to me about assimilation. I think you ought to know I'm feeling very resisted.
I am Training Manager of Borg. Please don't forget to complete the assimilation evaluation form.
I am Darth Vader of Borg. You will be assimilated. It is your desssssstiny.
I am Han Solo of Borg. I've got a bad feeling about this assimiliation.
I am Paul McCartney of Borg. Resistance is futile -- let it be, let it be, let it be.
BorgerKing: We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.
I am Lwaxana of Borg. Prepare to be assimilated my little one.
I am Christopher Lloyd of Borg: You will be... ahhhh... be... ahhhh Great Scot! 1.21 gigawatts!
I am not a Borg, but I play one on TV. Prepare to be assimilated.
I am Wayne of Borg. - And I am Garth of Borg. Party on Wayne - Party on Garth - (Both): You will be assimilated.....NOT!
I am Khan of Borg. From hell's heart I assimilate thee...
I am Nixon of Borg. We are not assimilating you at this time. Trust me.
I am Kermit of Borg. It's not easy being assimilated.
I am Bush of Borg, read my lips: you will be assimilated.
I am Ice-T 'o 'da Borg, motherf*cker. Low and behold, your sorry ass is about to become assimilated, man! And if you think you might be able to resist, we'll tell 'ya about futility, you irrelevant sucker!
I am Joan Rivers of Borg, you will be assimilated, but first, can we talk?
I am Microsoft of Borg. The superiority of other products is irrelevant.
I am Monty Python of Borg. Nobody expects the Borg assimilation!
I am Spock of Borg. I am and will be... assmililated. A search is useless...
I am John Wayne of Borg. You will be assimilated, pilgrim.
I am Mick Jagger of Borg -- I can't get no, (pause) assimilation.
Beavis and Borghead: Assimilation like, sucks, huh-huh-huh...
I am Hamlet of Borg. You are to be, or not to be, assimilated.
I am Gurney Halleck of Borg, as an ass in the desert, go I forth to my assimilation.
(Wesley) I know. I know. Resistance is futile. But... even BARCLAY was assimilated, so why wasn't I ?
I am Stroustrup of Borg. Functional programming is irrelevant. You will be instantiated.
I am Burns of Borg. Smithers! Assimilate them!
Yoda of Borg I am. Futile is resistance. Assimilate you we will.
I am Tweeti of Borg. I tawt I attimiwated a Puddy Tat!
I am Karol Wojtila of Borg. Pater, et fili, et spiritus assimilationi. Resistancum est futilius. Amen.
I am Bud of Borg. Can I assimilate you, please just once!?
I yam Popeye o'de Borg. Preparez ta be askimiligrated.
We are Gollum of Borg, yes. We will assimilate it, precious. Its resistance will be futile. Yesss, preciousss. Gollum. Gollum.
LuxemBORG: The European Community is irrelevant.
I am Dirty Harry of Borg. This is a Borg ship. The most powerful type of starship in the galaxy. In all the excitment, I can't remember if we already assimilated you yet. So what's it gonna be, are you going to be assimilated or what? Do you feel lucky punk?
We are Pakled of Borg. We ah-sim-ah-late. We are strong.
I am Gul Madred of Borg. You will be assimilated. But first, tell me how many lights you see.
I am Scotty of Borg. We canna assimilate no more kaptin.
I am Rom of Borg. Resistance is futile. Oh... I wasn't supposed to tell you that yet!
I am Garfield of Borg. Hairballs are irrelevant......
I am Hamlet of Borg. To be assimilated or not to be assimilated? That is the question. Whether resistence is futile or not, aye there is the rub. To be assimilated and perchance to have funny things stuck into your head or resist and encounter more superpowerful entities in future episodes.
I am Humphrey Borgart. You will be assimilated. Maybe not here. Maybe not now. This could be the start of a beautiful collective.
I am Rubik of Borg, and the cube was MY idea.
I am McCoy of Borg. I'm a Doctor, not an Assimilator...
I am Andy Rooney of Borg. Ever wonder why resistance is futile?
I am Bill of Borg. Resistance is futile. You will drop your decent OS and install mine. Stability and freedom are irrelevant. Your life, as it has been, is over. From this time forward you will service, us.
I am Alzheimer of Borg. Resistance is... is... ****. Who are you? Where am I? And why?!
Zania Jaarda
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How to confuse the Borg....

Postby Jake Sjet » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:47 pm

We are the borg. Resitence is futile. Perpare to be-
Quick, quick Number One! Lower the shields and beam over those lovly Borg.
Er...what is this? Resitance is-
Oh we're not resiting! Come on over!
Er, futile, you will be, futile. BANG!
Damn it Number One!
I think you need to work on your chat up lines Bauldy.
What was that.
Skinhead, I mena Captain Skinhead of the starship Warrenty Void
Ensign Keth Soban, Medic on the USS Legacy

Fellow Crew Injured By Keth: X


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"I will eat your soul :3"
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Jake Sjet
A puppy that goes 'yap' and flips over
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:53 pm

LOL! Another good one!
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Fri Aug 08, 2003 1:56 am

Here's some more smilies!

Image Image Image Image Image <--- It's the Village People! Y-M-C-A!

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Zania Jaarda
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Fri Aug 08, 2003 10:46 am

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Zania Jaarda
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Postby Jake Sjet » Fri Aug 08, 2003 5:03 pm

oh-oh, looks like our Captains been assimilaed by the evil Smiles! For once the borg run for cover under their frilly pink bed sheets!
Ensign Keth Soban, Medic on the USS Legacy

Fellow Crew Injured By Keth: X


Image

"I will eat your soul :3"
User avatar
Jake Sjet
A puppy that goes 'yap' and flips over
A puppy that goes 'yap' and flips over
 
Posts: 6547
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Location: Britian

Postby Jake Sjet » Fri Aug 08, 2003 5:15 pm

The way to stop all wars ids to tell everyone to drop the guns and invite them to a drinking competition.

Last man, or woamn, standing wins the war.

If we're fighting Russia, its the best of ten rounds.
Ensign Keth Soban, Medic on the USS Legacy

Fellow Crew Injured By Keth: X


Image

"I will eat your soul :3"
User avatar
Jake Sjet
A puppy that goes 'yap' and flips over
A puppy that goes 'yap' and flips over
 
Posts: 6547
Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2003 4:30 pm
Location: Britian

Postby Zania Jaarda » Fri Aug 08, 2003 7:42 pm

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Zania Jaarda
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Fri Aug 08, 2003 7:44 pm

Jake Sjet wrote:oh-oh, looks like our Captains been assimilaed by the evil Smiles! For once the borg run for cover under their frilly pink bed sheets!


LOL! Smilies can be a fun way of expression in the emotionless world of text. :D
Zania Jaarda
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Postby Zania Jaarda » Fri Aug 08, 2003 8:18 pm

Top Ten Funniest Lines From STAR TREK

10. The Doctor: "By the way, Denara, I find myself romantically attracted to you and was wondering if you felt the same way."

9. Dax: "She punched out Lancelot!"
Kira: "He kissed me!"
Dax: "He's supposed to kiss you!"
Kira: "But I was playing a married woman!"

8. Col. West: "Quite frankly, sir, we can clean their chronometers."

7. Spock: "Were we having a good time?"

6. Bashir: "You wish Keiko were a man?"

5. Odo: "(Chief O'Brien sings) Ancient Earth sea shanties. He's particularly fond of one called 'Louie Louie.'"

4. Kasidy Yates: "What's that supposed to mean?"

3. Q: "What is this, the Ship of the Valkyries?"

2. Worf: "I WILL NOT PLAY THE FOOL FOR Q'S AMUSEMENT!"

1. Data: "Oh sh#t!"
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