Fun Images, Smilies, & Jokes!

A PBEM sim taking place on a Prometheus Class vessel. The cutting edge in Federation technology with a good sized crew and a great deal of excitement.

Moderator: [Sim] Zealous - Hosts

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:11 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:14 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:18 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:19 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:21 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:22 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:24 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:26 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:27 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:30 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:32 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:35 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:39 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:40 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:41 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:43 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:44 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:45 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:46 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Sari » Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:47 pm

Image

Image

Image
Sari
 

Postby Jason Garbing » Fri Jun 24, 2005 8:57 am

Joke

Four women were driving across the country.
Each one was from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York.

Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window.

"What the heck are you doing?" demanded the Nebraskan.

"We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of looking at them!"

A moment later, the woman from Nebraska began pulling ears of corn from her bag and tossing them from the window.

"What are you doing that for?" asked the gal from Florida.

"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking at them!"

Inspired, the woman from Florida opened the car door and pushed the New Yorker out.
Jason Garbing
 

Postby Zania Jaarda » Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:14 am

Image
Image
Zania Jaarda
Speaker
Speaker
 
Posts: 25868
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:27 pm
Location: USS Zealous

Postby Robinson » Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:03 pm

Saw nothing had been posted here for a while so thought i'd ahre this little joke I found with you all.

Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"

Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computier technology."

Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.

Riker looks puzzled: "What the hell is a 'Microsoft'?"

Data turns to answer: "Allow me to explain, Commander. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."

Picard: "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"

Data: "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions."

Picard: "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea."

... 15 Minutes Later ...

Data: "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'."

Geordi: "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."

Picard: "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we missed."

Data: "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards."

Riker: "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F ..."

Geordi, excited: "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0%!"

Picard: "Data, what do your scanners show?"

Data: "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."

Picard: "Lets wait and see how long this 'Solitaire' can reduce their functionality."

... Two Hours Pass ...

Riker: "Geordi what's the status on the Borg?"

Geordi: "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft Fun-Pack'."

Picard: "How much time will that buy us?"

Data: "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours."

Geordi: "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."

Picard: "Identify."

Data: "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo!"

Over the speakers: "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURREDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY."

Data: "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."

Picard: "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!"

Riker: "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship
with no life support suits! How can they survive deep space?!"

Data: "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe-skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits!"

Riker and Picard together horrified: "Lawyers!!"

Geordi: "It can't be. I thought all the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."

Data: "True, but apparently some must have survived."

Riker: "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with pieces of paper."

Data: "I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' -- it often proves fatal."

Riker: "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"

Picard: "Turn off the viewer. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that."
"worry is interest on a debt you may never owe" from a fortune cookie

Lt Cmndr Joy Robinson
Chief Science Officer
USS Zealous
Robinson
Fleet Captain
Fleet Captain
 
Posts: 531
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2003 6:13 pm
Location: cloud 9

Postby Zania Jaarda » Mon Jan 29, 2007 11:09 am

OMG! That's too funny! :lol:

Thanks for sharing, Joy!
Image
Zania Jaarda
Speaker
Speaker
 
Posts: 25868
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:27 pm
Location: USS Zealous

Previous

Return to USS Zealous

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


cron