Ricker Log: Vindication

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Ricker Log: Vindication

Postby Ricker » Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:13 pm

“You know what your problem is Ricker, you’re reckless, and that makes you dangerous. It’s a good thing that you are in here instead of somewhere that you could hurt someone or maybe even get them killed. You deserve to be in there and I hope you never get out. Its not like you would have amounted to anything anyway.”

It had been almost 2 years now since that guard at the Lunar Rehabilitation Center had tortured Luc with those words. He was already struggling enough with the pain and regret of what he had done, this guy’s vitriol did nothing but hurt. It wasn’t just bullying, it was terrorizing and the moment had haunted Luc ever since.

Luc’s second trip to the academy had produced some more painful moments, like when one of his instructors told him that he had no place wearing a Starfleet uniform. Or when some 3rd year cadet had ran by him and yelled “traitor” at Luc and got the entire commons area to stare at Luc with contempt.

Luc allowed himself to revisit these memories every once in a while. It used to be that he wanted to remember the anger that they had produced. They became Luc’s drive to go straight to the top of Starfleet, just to spite all those people that had hurt him when he got in trouble. Luc knew that he had done something that demanded justice, but he had also done something that deserved reward and no one wanted to recognize that, they just wanted to hate him. Now, when he looked back on these dark moments in his life, Luc wanted to remind himself of where he had come from. It wasn’t about the anger anymore it was about the journey. Luc wanted to remember that his life could have taken a whole different turn, and, albeit with bad motives, he had chose to take the hard road and prove himself to these people.

Luc looked in the mirror in his quarters across from the chair that he found himself sitting in. There was a new glint on his collar. A new pip. A new reminder. This time, not of the past behind, but of the future ahead. There was only one emotion that Luc could really attach to his recent promotion: vindication. An exoneration from his past and all that went with it, a sign of hope for a future where Luc could finally be free of his demons and be the man that he wanted to be and that he was needed to be. That one little piece of metal told Luc that he was worth something again.

Staring into the mirror reminded Luc of the last time that he had looked into a mirror at his rank. It had been in that shuttle craft where he had noticed the hole where other pips had been before, the hole that stored all of Luc’s anger and pain. At the time Luc had thought that if he could just plug a pip in there again, that hole would be covered and that he would never have to deal with it again. Over the last few months though, Luc had learned that only by digging through that hole could he really discover that the hole was really one that was in his life, not just in his collar. He was missing something and until he filled that hole, he would never be able to achieve what he craved. You can’t be significant if there is no one around you to notice. Significance is defined by what you can do for others. If there are no others in your life, you cannot achieve anything but vanity.

Now, Luc knew that the next step was going to be figuring out where to go from here. Untying the knots of his life had left him feeling relieved and happier than he had been in a long time but it had also made him realize where a few more of his needs were. While on the bridge, seeing the reports roll in of the horrible epidemic that swept through the ship just in the last few days, and then going through the ship working on the replicators, Luc had realized how lucky he and everyone else were that he didn’t have to die in the manner that he feared the most. Seeing all the tragedy had made Luc realize that he didn’t want to die alone. Something had to be done about that and Luc thought he had just the answer.

Standing up and walking to the replicator, Luc got something to drink and sat down at his desk. With all of the ship’s replicators off line until they could be purged and scrubbed, Luc had been needed to help with getting all the work done. With his new rank, Luc was in charge of one of the teams and Blackburn had been kind enough to assign Luc’s team the deck on which they all lived. So naturally, their quarters had been done first and power restored to them. He knew that he had a guilty pleasure that not everyone on the ship could enjoy so he said a silent prayer of gratitude to anyone who was listening and got to work on an invitation.
Ricker
Cadet 2nd Year
Cadet 2nd Year
 
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Joined: Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:40 pm

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