JP: Duty Bound

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JP: Duty Bound

Postby Kris » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:27 am

Duty Bound
Joint Log
Lieutenant Commander Jayla Rollands & Counselor Rachel Jordan

Things were settling down a bit. She had had several sessions due to the chaos of the mirror universe personnel incursion. Now, she sat back in her office, filing away all of those thoughts, little tidbits, and emotions into their proper places in her minds. After doing that and updating her patient notes, she realized there were four people she hadn't yet talked to. Hmm, Warp, Rollands, Arnet and Aklar. She ventured Rollands would be next. For the time being, she leaned back in her chair, propped her feet up on the desk, and opened a book..."On Basilisk Station" by David Weber.

It was inevitable, and Jayla knew it. There was no possible way she was going to be allowed back on duty if she didn’t, and sitting her her quarters was getting old. Slipping her uniform jacket back on and affixing her new combadge to it, she headed off towards the office of the dear ship’s counselor. This wasn’t going to be a friendly visit this time, it had been deemed necessary. That didn’t mean she wanted to go by any stretch of the imagination, but after recent happenings, did she really have a choice?

Sighing outside the office door, she pressed the chime, almost hoping that there was no one on the other side.

She echoed that sigh, putting the bookmark in the necessary spot. "Come in Jayla" Rachel sat up, and waited.

It always amazed Jayla how Jordan knew it was her. Though, after being there many times before as well as being told she had to come before being allowed back on duty, it came as no surprise. Pressing the button to open the door, she stepped inside. "I take it you were expecting me?"

"You could say that, young lady. What I really should be doing about now is giving you an old fashioned butt-chewing for waiting so long to get your arse down here. You've been avoiding me. For that, no margaritas!" Rachel was trying to lighten the mood, because even through the door she could sense the dark cloud hanging over Jayla's head.

"Margaritas? Believe it or not, I'm not in the mood for one. Been drinking a lot of tea lately." Jayla knew that she may as well come all the way in and sit down. "I've been a bit busy these last two weeks, never had a chance to come down before Warp sent Arnet and I on the other mission." She sat and stared at the floor for a moment, "I was going to, I swear."

She raised a brow, looking sternly at Jayla. "Uh huh, sure you were," but then she folded and smiled. "You were injured and your body needed to heal. Plus, it allowed you some time to fully wrap your mind around your own emotions instead of 'acting out.'”

Looking at her friend for a moment, Rollands sighed, "Since when do I ever 'act out'? You've known me long enough that you should know that isn't like me." She looked back up, "Why would I have acted out anyway?"

"Self-preservation, young lady. Look at this way...you nearly died twice in span of two weeks. Being confronted with one's mortality that much, that quickly..plus add on to it the emotional quandary of Arnet..that's a pretty potent mix. The reactions are usually to internalize it, avoid it, or lash out at it all. I didn't say you would act out, but it was in the realm of normal responses to stressors."

"Twice in two weeks, don't need reminding of that. Once by someone who looked like me, the second by a freezing cavern." Sighing, she knew that the Arnet part would come up quickly. "Who says anything happened between Arnet and I down in that cavern?" She knew this wasn't going to work, but at the same time, she had to try.

"Actually I was referring the Arnet kissing the mirror-you. But, with the way that both you and Arnet have been acting, I made the assumption that yes, something happened in the cave. Granted, that's pretty darn natural, seeing you both were looking death in the face. That's usually when people 'come clean' about how they truly feel about someone else...especially if that someone else was trapped right along with them."

It was then that Jayla realized she opened up her own can of worms. She'd honestly nearly forgotten about the kiss she heard about from other people. "Right, the kiss. I don't know what I was supposed to make of that, since I was never there and kept hoping that it was a rumor spreading across the ship." Was there really a point in hiding things when it seemed Jordan knew everything? Had they really been acting that different after they returned to the ship? "Coming clean...yeah. I suppose that is most of what happened down there. Beyond nearly freezing to death and being pelted by rocks during a cave in."

"Most of what happened...mind filling in the rest of what you just didn't say?”

Again, she opened up another can of worms and sighed. "Does it really matter? It is something I need to take up with him at another point. Just need to make sure everything is clear between him and I so things don't become awkward again."

"If it matters to you, it matters to me. But, if you are not ready to talk about it, we won't." Rachel could at least give her a little wiggle room there. "I wouldn't be doing my duty though if I didn't ask this question: Can you serve side-by-side with him on a daily basis without it adversely affecting your job performance?"

"I've been able to in the past, and I'll still be able to in the future. He and I care about each other, and we both know that. It isn't going to change anything we would need to do on a professional level." Rollands knew she'd get back to the other statement, because she did want to talk about it, just wasn't sure how.

Rachel listened to what she knew was not only a very tough subject for Jayla to discuss, but something that could become an emotional abyss that would suck her friend in. She watched Jayla's movements, her facial expressions. She felt the emotions sensing they were being kept tenuously in-check. She just waited.

When her friend didn't say anything, Jayla knew she was supposed to continue in what she'd been saying. "What was said between he and I down there was..." she sighed. "They were things that need to be said to clear the air. We'd tried so many times in the past to do so, and things always became awkward. This time...it didn't."

She stared at the floor again, not quite sure how far into this to go.

"We let things out that we'd been holding onto for a while. Well...at least he did. I know how he really feels now, and I'm glad that I do. I suppose that..."

She stopped short. She couldn't even think how to word the next bit.

The counselor in her turned off completely as she listend to Rollands. "Do I need to have a 'Come to Jesus' meeting with Arnet where my fist and his face are required to meet?"

"Fist and face? No, not at all! He said more in the time we were down there than has been said in years. Don't need to hurt him for any of that. He let his true feelings out."

Here she was, about to say what she really wanted to say to Arnet. But maybe a bit of practice before talking to him directly was a good idea.

"It's my fault things didn't get said, not his. I'm not blaming him for anything. I...just wish...wish he'd acknowledged what I said. It might make all this easier..."

"Sounds to me like you both danced around your true feelings and emotions for.....did you say years?!?!" she sighed, then after a few moments shook her head. "What am I going to do with the two of you?" She was trying to be a bit funny, lighten the mood, and make it a bit easier for Jayla to keep talking.

"Yes, I said years. How long have you and I gone over this all in the past?" Jayla shook her head, "He didn't. At least, as far as I can tell he didn't. He told me exactly how he felt. It was me who held back things, at least in terms of the wording of it. I'm sure he understood how I felt but...he didn't say anything about it."

"That translates to he avoided it. He does that. Hell, all of us do that, especially with matters of the heart. Easier to bury it and hope it goes away than having to deal with the potential fall-out." She paused as an image came to her brain. She shook it off..it didn't belong here. "I'm glad the two of you got to discuss things finally...and lived to tell the tale."

Jayla caught the look on Jordan's face and sighed. "There's something else you're not telling me that you want too. I know you well enough to know that." She shook her head, "If he avoided something, I couldn't tell. We even had to put up with Da wine. You surely remember what happened last time that was involved."

"Da wine....that stuff should be outlawed in every sector. It's like truth serum. And no, there isn't anything I'm not telling you, Jayla."

"We probably shouldn't have started drinking it after the life support got shut down. But...we did. Somehow, I still held back saying things the way they should have been said. Not to say I didn't say them I just avoided saying it properly." She glanced at Jordan, "Not a good idea, was it?"

"Not a good idea indeed. Alcohol thins the blood making it easier for the cold to seep in and hypothermia to take hold." She knew that is not what Jayla was referring to when she inquired if it was a good idea or not. "And yes, you should have said it how you meant it."

"Yeah, I think it would have set in no matter whether we had the the alcohol or not. But as for saying things how I meant them...I did say it later, though he doesn't realize it. While he was asleep in sickbay..."

"While he was asleep in sickbay..." She paused and basically glared at Jayla. "Woman....remind me to thwap you later."

Jayla sat back and raised an eyebrow, "Wha? What did I do to deserve that?"

"Talking to someone in their sleep equates to you basically talking to a wall. You got your feelings out, sort of, but they didn't reach who they needed to reach. Basically, it's a cop-out and thwap-worthy."

"But then how do I tell him without just making a mess of everything we talked about earlier? I've never been one who is good at that type of thing."

"If you don't want to face him, do a voice recording on a PADD and leave it for him. Otherwise, suck it up buttercup and tell him in person."

Once more, she stared at the floor, "Tell him in person. I wouldn't dare leaving him a recording, it would make things worse rather than better. I suppose I more want him to acknowledge how I feel rather than going into his own feelings and leaving mine behind."

"Well until you actually tell him how you really feel, what you really feel and how deeply you feel it..he will not know. This is Arnet we are talking about after all." She grinned at Jayla, once again trying to get a bit of levity into this subject matter.

A small smile crossed her face, "Right, it is Arnet we are talking about. I guess I better say it outright to him, meaning I gotta invite him to talk somewhere and hope that he accepts the invitation." She looked over at Jordan. "So...besides knowing that I need to talk to him yet again, I guess my only other question is if I'm free to go back on duty. I'm going a bit stir crazy in my quarters and pushing everything off to Aklar."

"You are cleared for duty....on one condition." She grinned at Jayla and waited.

"I don't think I want to know what that one condition is but...go ahead."

"Let's go have some dinner or is it breakfast time? Either way..some food to feed the mind, body and soul."
Kris: SLA Council Moderator
USS Lionheart First Officer (XO): Commander Christine Sterling
USS Potemkin Second Officer (2O) & Chief Science Officer (CSO): Commander Jayla Rollands
USS Mercutio Tactical Officer (TAC): First Lieutenant Brielle Jayde
Starbase 27 Chief Science Officer (CSO): Lieutenant Commander Nayeli Behar
SS Heimdall Medical & Employee Relations: Catrina (Cat) Kali Tendai
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